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Do You Believe in God?

A Common Question

I am often asked the question, “Do you believe in God ”? I mostly get this question from family and close friends following deep discussions on end time prophecy, the Trinity doctrine and Gods final judgment on mankind. I am always asked this question when I go against the grain.

Logic and Reason 

Christians today are never comfortable with logic and reason. They are so immersed in what the Bible says they can’t see the wood for the trees. Some try to simplify Christianity by focusing on Jesus, thinking that if they plug the many holes in the Bible with the name of Jesus I will stop pushing back against their theology. It only serves to heighten my compulsive and excessive introspection.

Martin Luther 

After completing my Chaplaincy Degree, I was left with more questions than answers. This I have realised is as a direct result of the churches attempt to hide its horrible History. The church has a unique talent i.e. its ability to paint past theologians as heroes instead of villains. One of these heroes is Martin Luther the seminal figure of the Post Reformation period.

Whilst Martin Luther had the courage to stand up to the Roman Catholic church he unfortunately became just like the Catholic church and forced his personal views on members of his new faith.

Martin Luther spoke out against using logic and reason when reading the Bible. He wrote, “All the articles of our Christian faith, which God has revealed to us in His Word, are in presence of reason sheerly impossible, absurd, and false.”  and “[That] Reason in no way contributes to faith. […] For reason is the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of spiritual things.”

Luther was also anti Jew. He considered and often preached that the Jews were blasphemers and liars because they rejected the divinity of Jesus.

Luther wrote negatively about the Jews throughout his career. In 1543 he published a 60 000-word paper entitled the Jews and their Lies, wherein he argued that Jews were no longer the chosen people but ” the devil’s people”.

Set Their Synagogues on Fire! 

Luther actually encouraged his church members to set synagogues on fire and to destroy all Jewish prayer books. He further stated that Jews homes should be destroyed and their money and property seized so that these “envenomed worms” would be forced into labour or expelled for all time.

If you had to ask members of the Lutheran church today if they are aware of Luther’s toxic past, most would admit they know nothing of it and those who are aware of it will sweep it aside and, in some cases, actually justify it.

Church Forefathers 

You can go back in history and select any of the church greats e.g. Augustine, Jerome, Ambrose, Thomas Aquinas, Justin Martyr, John Calvin, John Wesley up until today 21 February 2023 and you will find toxic teachings, racisim, bigotry, slavery and genocide.

Any devout Christian reading the above paragraph is already prepared to defend God and the Christian church. These Christian apologists and those before them are the very reason why I ask the deeper questions and why I refuse to worship the God of the Bible they so fervently worship.

The God Entity I admire 

The God entity I admire and want to get to know is the God who renews His Love for the world every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). Christians I want to hang out with are those who strive to carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).

Christians I don’t want to hang out with are those who never question anything that is written in the Bible. Those who skip past stories of violence and genocide and see nothing wrong with it. So, what they say if David killed 200 Philistines and brought their foreskins to King Saul so he could marry Saul’s daughter. So, what they say when a bald man who was teased by kids brings a curse on them so that two bears kill 42 of them. So, what if God said he didn’t want men with damaged testicles to be allowed to offer food at His temple.

A Deep Sadness

So, whilst Christians defend God and theologians continue to debate, epistemology, eschatology, hermeneutics and Bible translations I am left with a deep feeling of sadness for mankind. Not only am I sad for mankind I am equally sad for God.

God just can’t seem to get things right. His creation is flawed. Pastors and ministers remind all of us of our flawed and sinful natures every Sunday. God just doesn’t seem to be able to get enough people on His side.

God appears to be waiting for just the right number of worshippers before he brings this world to a close through a fiery judgment which man apparently has never seen or gone through before. I only have to refer Christian fanatics to the year 536. If the world did not end then it causes me to question if the apocalyptic writings within the Bible are true.

The God I Choose to Worship 

At the end of the day, I choose to not worship a monster God. I choose to worship a God who loves you into Him despite your sins. I choose to worship a God who would rather have a relationship with me because I am flawed rather than not have a relationship with me and instead opts to annihilate me and millions of others who don’t commit to a church and a belief system.

I choose to avoid all the trappings of religion and for God to shape me over time. I choose to walk my own path away from thoughts and prayers that lack genuine care.

In a sense I am denying the Christian God and I am denying the religious institutions who claim to know Him. I refuse to kiss the Popes ring just to get a seat at the table.

Most of my close friends and family who are very religious are shocked and frankly confused about my choice of worship because they have opted to read the Bible with preconceived ideas and a narrow lens. I pray that the God entity will eventually open their eyes and hearts so that they can have true peace, free of rules and rituals.

If you have suffered spiritual and church abuse and you wish to talk to me about it please feel free to email me here

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